You probably thought that this would be about my struggle with ‘mother wounds.’

For those of you who don’t know what mother wounds are, let me provide a simple explanation: mother wounds are the unresolved after-effects of a lack of a mother’s touch, love, affirmation, and nurturing.

Of course parents make mistakes. Both of my parents have been honest with me and shared what mistakes they made, over the years. I’ve been extremely understanding. I mean, I am their first child, and they were pretty young when I was born.

BUT, that’s not what this post is for.

This is about my mother’s wounds.

As children, we tend to forget that our parents are human, so we set expectations for them…without extending grace.

We want for them to love us unconditionally, but we allow hate to sneak into our hearts, anytime they don’t give us what we want.

I am guilty of not consistently extending grace and mercy to my mother.

For years, I expected her to break her back, just for me. I expected her to always understand my side. I expected her to put me before her….ALL OF THE TIME. I expected her to not be tired, after working consecutive nights. I expected her to go to work, serve at church, be a great friend/sister/daughter, pay bills, and pick up the slack at home.

I just EXPECTED.

But, I didn’t want to offer anything. I thought my good grades were enough to sustain her.

So, when she asked me to wash the dishes, I caught the worst attitude….every single time. When she asked me to take the garbage out, I huffed and puffed…every single time. When she asked me to help put up the groceries, that she bought, I got mad because I couldn’t finish my television show. When she didn’t have the money to buy me what I wanted, I was so offended.

I’m not saying that I was the worst child, ever. Sometimes, I struggled to be considerate.

Considering what I had been through, during my childhood, I expected my mother to be perfect, while accepting my flaws.

It’s almost like I took my frustrations out on her, even though she was the main one who wanted to do everything she could to preserve my life.

I didn’t stop to think about what she had experienced, from childhood to adulthood. Her parenting “skills” were provided by the Holy Spirit because she didn’t always have the best examples.

Her father broke promises and her mother didn’t always nurture her, so I wasn’t the only wounded one in the household.

My mother had been in survival mode since she was a teenager. Even when she did reach new heights, she still suffered, emotionally.

She experienced disappointments, heartbreaks, grief, lack, etc.

So, she deserved grace and mercy.

So, I want to use this time to publicly say, “I am so sorry.”

I’m sorry for not extending grace and for not recognizing/understanding your pain.

You strived to provide a better life, not just for you, but for me too.

You literally pushed your way through nursing school, while working at McDonald’s and while being a mother.

Even after grandma, your rock, passed away, you still made it.

So…this isn’t just my apology to you. This is also my appreciation.

For everyone else, I pray that you all take the time to evaluate your role as children. We are supposed to honor our fathers and mothers. If you’ve made mistakes, as children, which I know you have, I admonish you to apologize.

It’ll help to heal some wounds you’re possibly unaware of.

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”- Exodus 20:12

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” – Proverbs 31:25-30